A Crossroad to a New Beginning
by Ginkoko
Summary: The fateful encounter between Gintoki and Otose brought many new possibilities that changed Gintoki's life. This is a close look on what went on in his head when he crossed the path between the past and the present.


_**A Crossroad to A New Beginning**_

He dragged himself along the deserted lonely road. The pain has already faded thanks to the bitter cold that numbed his body, and has started now to paralyze his limbs. He lifted his tired eyes and scanned the area around him. The bleakly desolated scene welcomed his gaze, stretching out infinitely. He rubbed his eyes and looked more closely. He's not wrong. There, at a fair distance, he saw some dispersed lights sparkling ever so brightly in the dark night. He is at the outskirts of the city without a doubt. Somehow this discovery didn't cheer him up. There is nothing for him out there... among the people. He is better off alone. There is nothing waiting for him at the end of this road. He already lost everything. Everything he is, everything he used to have was at the other end of the road, the end he turned his back to. He found himself looking back involuntary, but then scratching his perm head he again turned his back and kept walking. How long has it been since he started walking? How many days?

The head of the Ikeda family was dead adamant on letting him go. The silver haired man was nonchalantly waiting for his execution day. He was even looking forward to it. It was the fitting end for a demon like him. The physical torture he suffered at the guards' hands did nothing to relieve the emotional strain that wrecked his soul for years now. Even after that fateful day that turned his life upside down, he chose to move on to keep that one promise. And now he willingly handed himself over to the government in an attempt to stop the cruel purge that reaped many innocent lives along with the rebels. Yes, he is the hero that chose to be a scapegoat to save his comrades, and to save a little girl from the clutches of a dark fate. A bitter smile formed on his lips. He knew that his reason behind this "noble sacrifice" wasn't really that admirable. It was just the perfect opportunity to escape the sin that weighed heavily on his shoulders. He is not allowed to die. He made a promise to his mentor. He vowed to protect everyone, and in his fervent attempt to keep this promise he ended up stepping on his beloved mentor's body in order to protect the disciples he so cherished. One strike of his sword was all it took to keep his promise and lose everything in return. But now it's different. This time his death will save the others. This time he himself will be the stepping stone for his comrades' survival. Shoyou would definitely forgive him and let him go peacefully.

This is how things were supposed to happen. Waiting for his death in the cold cell was his salvation... But again he was not allowed to die.

"When people sin and degenerate into demons. The only beings capable of turning them human again are humans. That's why I have no right to cut you. A demon has no right to cut a fellow demon. You promised, did you not?"

Ikeda's words echoed in his head. "The old man must have been eavesdropping." He thought to himself. The little child kept coming back to stand before his cell and chatter the night away. "What drew her to me?" He wondered.

"Get lost. You're annoying me, you shitty pipsqueak."

The child kept talking brightly indifferent of his cold words. Before long he started to converse with her. Somehow the radiant child warmed his cold nights, and without realizing, he found himself looking forward to her visits.

"Brother! One day, when I become a great executioner I'll cut your head for you. I'll cut it nice and good so it doesn't hurt! I'll send you to heaven in peace! So promise me. Until I become a great executioner, you can't die, Brother."

Hearing her words he couldn't stop himself from smiling. The idea of having this innocent soul cut off his head seemed very appealing to him. Even though he wanted a death fitting of a demon, even though he was supposed to count the few remaining days of his life in the cold darkness, a new warm sensation came over him. The words just came out of his mouth against his will.

"In peace, huh? Sounds good. Okay, I promise."

He knew he was only caught up in the moment. It wasn't meant to be a promise. Of course it wasn't. He's a few days shy of his execution. He only wanted to reward this child's good will and say what she wanted to hear. But Ikeda Yaemon acknowledged this promise and released him, even while knowing that he will probably pay for this sin one day. Did he do it for his adoptive daughter's sake? Or is it that he too wanted him to fight for others like his mentor before him? Does he even have the right to protect others after failing to protect what was most precious to him?

The icy wind roared horribly against his weakened body cutting his thoughts short. The snow had already started covering the scene around him. Once again he looked around and a close by cemetery caught his attention. The silent headstones looked intimately familiar. He made his way hurriedly feeling a very nostalgic sensation overwhelming his entire being. Exhaustion and fatigue finally got the better of him and he sat down on the paved lane leaning on the closest tombstone. A heavy sigh escaped his lips. Now that he sat down, he became more aware of the coldness that pierced his body like a million dagger. Not that he was complaining. On the contrary, he felt he was home. The dead silence of the graveyard somehow calmed his tormented soul.

The long long walk had its toll on him and he started to nod off. "If I fell asleep in this freezing weather, l won't be waking up again." He told himself.

The vision of a little boy sitting among the corpses crossed his mind. That was his first memory. Ever since then he walked hand in hand with death. Throughout his whole life he left in his wake nothing but the unmistakable traits of blood and death. Is this why he feels at peace now? Here among the dead?

"Thank you."

Shoyou's last words to him lingered on his lips. He mumbled them over and over as he slowly succumbed to sleep.

"Until I become a great executioner, you can't die, Brother."

His eyes flung wide open.

"You promised, did you not?"

He bit his lips hard until the taste of blood filled his mouth. It's happening all over again. He is again forced to cling to life for the sake of a new promise. Now, at this point, is there anyone left who really needed him?

It was dawn now. Was he so immersed in his thoughts that he didn't even notice the first rays of the new day? Suddenly the sound of footsteps reached his ears. He could deduce from the slow heavy steps that whoever was coming was an elder person. The person stopped at the grave he was leaning against and put some manju as an offering to whoever was buried under the place he randomly chose to sit on. He turned his head and saw an old woman lighting the incense and praying. Is this the grave of her husband? Is it her son? He didn't really give it much thought as the sight of the manju reminded him painfully of his hunger. He sure needs this manju more than some dead person.

"Hey, Gran. Are those manju? Can I eat them? I'm starving to death here."

The old woman was startled for a moment. She was completely unaware of his presence until he spoke. She looked at him closely. The evidently battered body spoke to her of the long journey this man took before reaching here. The snow that covered his shoulders and the top of his head told her he spent the night there. How did he even survive this chilling weather?

"These manju belong to my husband. Ask him."

"Is that so?"

Without any hesitation he pounced on the manju and started eating them.

"What did my husband say?"

"Beats me. The dead don't talk. The dead don't talk and they don't eat dango. So I made a one-sided promise. I won't forget this debt. Your wife doesn't have that much to live, but I'm going to protect her in your stead."

The words came out of his mouth calmly with a strangely strong resolve. Could it possibly be that at that particular moment he found some kind of an answer? Just a while ago he considered a sweet release from his cursed life. What happened now? Is it the vision of his mentor? Is it the new promise? Could it be that he started to think clear after filling his stomach? He knows nothing of this woman. She also knows nothing of him. She will probably shrug his words off as the nonsense of a close to death man.

She didn't. When she stood over him he could see behind her stern look an overwhelming wave of infinite kindness. She smiled at him as a gesture for him to follow her. Where was he headed now? Is the road that this woman leading him down full of new possibilities? Will he find some answers with her? He had no idea. The only thing he knew that his steps now were no longer reluctant. They were firm and steady.


End file.
